HARLEY DAVIDSON: HOW TO BE A TRUE HARLEY RIDER (SATIRE)

Do you pass a group of bikers and feel that twinge of jealously?

Do you look in the mirror and know that the mild mannered person looking back is not who you truly are?

Here is all the info you need to become a true Harley Davidson rider!

So you’re ready to step up your game and be a real Harley Rider, then you’ve come to the right place. Whether you already own one of these fantastic machines or you’re in the market to grow some hair in places where there was once none and purchase a hog of your own, we got your back. Just follow this simple guide and you’ll be all set to transform yourself into a true Harley Davidson rider. Separate yourself from the try hard dentists and middle age crisis dwelling riders who only want to be weekend warriors by becoming what they fear most, a true Harley Davidson rider. You’ll be so cool and patriotic that people will swear there were stars and stripes coming out of your giant tailpipes and not exhaust fumes!

MATERIALS NEEDED

  • Ape hangers bar kit
  • Chrome accessories
  • Half helmet
  • Scary tattoos

STEP 1 – BIKER HYGIENE

First what you’ll want to do is stop bathing. That’s right, put that soap down. Ask yourself something, has there ever been a real American hero that looked clean? John Wayne: dusty, Steve McQueen: sweaty, Marlon Brando: caked in food crumbs! Nothing says outlaw like bad hygiene. Bad asses don’t have time to shop for eucalyptus scented body wash with micro beads.

PRO TIP

For those who live with their SO that does not agree with the new olfactory scent can utilize aerosol body sprays to mask the new outlaw musk.

STEP 2 – HANG TEN

Next step you’ll want is to position your seat and handlebars in such a way to make your ride as uncomfortable as possible. The more you hurt, the more you’ll grimace and that scowl will show everyone that you’re a mean S.O.B. and not to be taken lightly! So get those handlebars up in the air and switch that seat out ASAP to get one step closer to achieving your goal.

PRO TIP

If you start to hurt while driving, just think back to hanging from the monkey bars years ago as a child. That was fun right? Now stop complaining!

STEP 3 – GO FROM BLACK BIKE TO SHINY ROAD KNIFE

Third, we all like sparkly things. It’s innate to us and the rest of the animal kingdom to be attracted to a glittering thing that passes us by. So for your third step in becoming a real deal true blue Harley rider, you’ll need chrome. The chrome accents will act as an awesome security measure to blind anyone who dares to come near your precious hog. The shinier the potential part, the better for your macho machine. You’ll be fine since a real Harley rider always rocks dark shades to mask their fiery gaze from the sheep like automobile driving population.

PRO TIP

Invest in some dark shades to protect your peepers. Not just from your newly shined up bike, but also from all the shade car drivers will be throwing at you.

STEP 4 – WHERE’S YOUR HEAD AT?

Now for Step 4, the focus is on the safety of riding while being awesome. Go out and strap on that skull cap half helmet to protect only the top portion of your brain and neglect the rest of your melon, like your frontal lobe. But who needs a frontal lobe anyway? Once you are on a bike, it’s all about the adrenal gland and cerebellum, right? Following me? Maybe your frontal lobe is already shot.

Following these steps will put you on the road to being a true Harley Davidson rider.

BIKER CLUBS AND MILITARY VETS – HOW THE MEDIA FRAMES OUR THINKING

ELDER PATRIOT – The Associated Press is reporting that federal agents have gone public with their concern over the recruitment of active duty and retired military personnel by motorcycle clubs.

Has this really become a problem of significant enough proportions to warrant taking it to the wire services?

The lengthy story cites a single anecdotal instance of a soldier killing someone in the vicinity of a motorcycle clubhouse.  What could possibly qualify this story for attention by the wire services?

Perhaps this is the beginning of a media led conditioning program intended to build widespread distrust of military personnel?  Why, you ask?

Well, if the people fear our military they may more easily accept an expanded militarization of Homeland Security and perhaps even the development of a civilian police force (as a counter-balance to military-bikers and military-terrorists that we’ve also been warned about) as then Candidate Obama called for on July 2, 2008 while on the campaign trail:

“We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we’ve set. We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.”

Obama has been consolidating his power for some time now.  With the feckless Republicans now rolling over like disinterested dogs on virtually every legislative initiative, now may be the time that he pushes for his version of Hitler’s Brown Shirts.

I know quite a few of our military’s members from enlisted men to colonels, SEALS, special ops, and Rangers.  My experience with both, these military personnel and as a trustee of the Media Research Center, leads me this conclusion; trust the military and question the reasons for this story.

COLLEGE FOOTBALLERS USE ‘HARLEY-DAVIDSON WORKOUT’ TO BUILD MUSCLE

The world of college and professional sports is a hyper competitive one.

Coaches have very little time to build a competitive team out of an ever-revolving room of players.

For big-time football college coaches like Urban Meyer, failure to do so means the unemployment line, which is why modern coaches are constantly looking for new ways to motivate players to perform to the best of their ability.

One of the most unique motivational methods used by Meyer at Ohio State University involves what is known as the “Harley-Davidson Workout.” The grueling fitness regimen takes place every year in early March, and it has quickly earned a reputation for being one of the toughest of the year. It’s also the last workout of the college athletes’ winter-conditioning period. Earlier this week, the team posted to Twitter a video of the team tackling the unique fitness routine.

The Buckeyes are no strangers to tough workouts. Aside from the Harley-Davidson-themed exercise routine, they also “enjoy” the annual “Valentine’s Day Massascre” workout, which is as fun as it sounds. That one involves coaches running around with chainsaws while players fall out after completing “finisher” exercises designed to push them past the point of exhaustion.

The Harley-Davidson Workout is equally grueling, but with a slightly less-scary theme. Players hit the practice field and beat up on Michigan dummies, play tug-of-war and lift weights in a frenzy of sweat and loud grunting. Meanwhile, OSU’s strength and conditioning coaches ride out on Harley-Davidsons while dressed up like bikers. Watching video of the workout, it’s hard to tell who’s more into the whole thing, the coaches or the players.

Clearly, bikers aren’t the only ones who get a rush from the auditory pleasure only a Harley can provide.

 

WATCH: HELLS ANGEL CONFRONTS FORMER PRO BOXER IN BAR – BRAWL ERUPTS

The Hells Angels are probably the most well-known and feared biker club in the United States (if not the world) but this video shows that when one of their members comes up against an actual trained fighter, they crumble like the rest of us.

The incident occurred at the Topside Bar & Grill, a dive bar in Bristol, Rhode Island. According to the subsequent police report, John Remington, a member of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club was having a drink when 56-year-old Carl Justice Nordstrom, a biker not affiliated with any club, entered the bar with three of his companions.

Remington can be seen approaching Nordstrom and the pair shake hands but after that Remington kicks things off by suddenly pushing Nordstrom.

Unbeknownst to the Hells Angel, Nordstrom was a former professional heavyweight boxer who finished his career with a record of 10-2-2, including 8 wins by knockout.

In retaliation for the shove, Nordstrom floors Remington with an overhand right and a follow-up left.

One of the bouncers (the guy in the blue shirt) tries to intervene, but he too is assaulted as Nordstrom continues to smash Remington’s the head and body while his companions keep bystanders away and occasionally chip in with a few kicks of their own.

Nordstrom can then be seen dragging Remington to the exit and repeatedly slamming the door on his head before casually grabbing his jacket and helmet making a getaway. He didn’t get far before being arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and possession of a knife.

And despite being taken to hospital suffering a broken nose, shattered ankle, fractured leg, and cuts to the face, Remington refused to press charges. He too was charged with disorderly conduct (along with Nordstrom’s associates).

Police later revealed that this was not the first time Remington has put a member of the Hells Angels gang in hospital. The guy obviously doesn’t give a flying fu*k about the Hells Angels fearsome reputation!

This video is just another example of what happens when someone who is properly trained in combat goes up against someone who isn’t.

VIDEO IS ON THE NEXT PAGE!

The Greatest Motorcycle Fail Compilation Ever

This is apparently one of the greatest compilation ever to be made about motorcycles, although it is not all fail like the title would have you thinking, since there are some pretty awesome parts of the compilation. 

We are not going to spoil it for you, so klick on the video and see why this compilation has more than 15 million views.

Enjoy!

 

If This Doesn’t Stop You From Texting and Driving, Nothing Will !!!

YES it is a fake video the Rigby High School created the idea behind it to bring awareness to teenage drivers. The Fire Fighters and EMT’s are real the Ambulance, Paramedics and the Cops are real.

They all volunteered their time to help the Rigby High school students show the world the dangers of texting and driving. The procedures that are used in this videos are used every day by fire fighters and EMT’s at real senses of real accidents.

This video was put together by the students and volunteers to bring awareness and share it with the world. Special thanks to everyone for helping make this video possible.

POLICE PULL OVER A MOTORCYCLE RIDER WITH A GUN

Here is the back story, a sport bike rider is heading home and for the most part he is behaving as best as a biker can behave, we mean this guy is riding that bike at less than 10% of its abilities and is following the flow of traffic.

Well for the most part, since if you have ever ridden a machine like this one where the power to weight ratio is close to 1000hp per ton, you know that a tiny unnoticeable twist of the throttle in any gear will take you over the speed limit in a second.

A short while later and a few questionable lane changes, he is being pulled over by a very professional Police officer.

 

 

Wheelie gone bad – big bike accident

Watch as biker riding wheelies loops out wheelie at high speed leaving a trial of bright sparks lighting up the road as stunter crashes very hard in assault in wheelie epic fail.

The make & model of the sport bike shown in this motorcycle wreck video clip is a 2004-2005 Kawasaki Ninja ZX10R or ZX10 custom build stunt bike for doing extreme freestyle motorcycle stunts on the streets!

Any comments?

 

Guy gets instant karma when he tried to run over motorcyclist

This guy gets instant karma when he tried to run over motorcyclist. How can this situation taste after all?

Like a broken nose or cut lip? Most likely yes! Street is a great place if you are looking for trouble, it is to a great degree very risky. Particularly when it is a truck versus bicycle type of circumstance. These bikers were about killed by a man in a truck who was going the other way.

We do not have the foggiest idea about the true foundation of the story, however we are with the bikers in this one. He jeopardizes their lives by putting his truck, so one of the motorcyclists gives him some appropriately harsh criticism.

The truck driver gets completely dropped and this is wrong thing to do. Trucks are very big and you don’t want to mess with truck drivers.

But, this guy gets instant karma because he did a bad thing. Don’t every try to do something like this – ever.

Bikers are good guys, and no matter what kind of situation you find yourself, there is always nice way to resolve any issue. Check this video where Guy gets instant karma when he tried to run over biker, we believe he is not so happy about this situation.

Share this video of guy and instant karma and show your family and friends that they must not do bad things to anyone, because destiny will get them one day, sometimes right away.

Video on Page 2